Egg-head Think Tank wants to ban tackling in school age rugby

kids playing rugby

A STRAWBERRY BLONDE GIRL ELBOWS HER MALE TACKLER CORRECTLY: RIGHT IN THE TEETH.

The Guardian: Open letter urges schools to move to touch or non-contact rugby to avoid serious injuries, such as concussion and fractures.

More than 70 doctors and health experts have called for a ban on tackling in school rugby games.

In the letter that warns of the high risk of serious injury among under-18s playing rugby, they urge schools to move to touch and non-contact versions of the game.

The letter – which is addressed to ministers, chief medical officers and children’s commissioners – describes rugby as a “high-impact collision sport”.

“The majority of all injuries occur during contact or collision, such as the tackle and the scrum,” it says. “These injuries, which include fractures, ligamentous tears, dislocated shoulders, spinal injuries and head injuries ,can have short-term, life-long and life-ending consequences for children.”

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Can you imagine the type of apple-faced, spanner-necked goons that signed on on this ludicrous petition?  Sounds like they could use a history lesson.  As far as I can tell, if we’re getting rid of any contact or collision, then we’re no longer talking about rugby being a sport, but we’re talking about a game of pass the parcel.

 

"Your head will be fine Satts - but his elbow's fucked"

“Your head will be fine Satts – but his elbow’s fucked”

Look, Vince Karalius once told me: “you show me a guy who listens to a doctor or health expert, and I’ll show you a loser”.

The fact of the matter is that it’s fractures, ligament tears, dislocated shoulders and head injuries that build character in our children.  When Sam Burgess was a young boy, he saw Souths’ captain John Sattler getting his jaw broken in the 1970 grand final, watching with his Mum, Julia – who was all for it.  She punched him the head a couple of times so he knew what it felt like.  Fast Forward 34 years, and there’s Sam winning the grand final with his own part of his head broken in a couple of places.

sam burgess broken cheekbone

The Golden Rule of Rugby League: if your face breaks in half in the first ten minutes and your team wins, you are the Clive Churchill Medal winner.

A lot of people think the NRL Grand Final man of the match gets the Clive Churchill Medal because of Clive’s silky skills as an undersized fullback.  It wasn’t: it’s because as a coach, he made Sattler play all 80 minutes with that broken jaw, after punching the team doctor out for continually bringing it up.  That’s real coaching.

This proposal is just political correctness gone mad.  When any children I talk to ask me why i walk with a limp, or piss my pants and forget who I am for a half hour whenever the microwave starts because of the metal plate in my head, I have a story to tell them.  “Three large fat men ripped me in three directions at Castleford Lock Lane” or “A large Indigenous man decided I couldn’t run without a face”.  Sam Burgess has a story to tell them when they ask why he talks through his eyeball, too.

Now, how am I supposed to explain to any children I talk to that when they’re older, they won’t be able to just piss the bed because the pain in their arthritic knees is too much?

You know what else?  When we were kids, there were a LOT of drunk Dads on the sideline screaming abuse at us and the referee, but it was that drunkedness that funded youth sport in this country.  I’d like to see these egg-headed bean-counters show us their plan for how they’re going to replace that income when Dads don’t care any more because there’s no blood.

Here’s the thing about being smashed: you feel alive.  It’s like being in a car accident: it makes you appreciate and cherish every single moment of your life. That next cigarette tastes better then anything you’ve ever had. And you want to take that away from the next generation?

Now, not only have these nancies – these pillows, these DUDS – made the ludicrous suggestions to ban tackling for under 18s, but the way they’ve gone about it is pure fairyland.

For a kick off, open letters are SUCH A PROVEN WAY to vigorous action. Will Greenwood’s persistent efforts corroborate this.  If Burgess had listened to Greens’ dribble, he’d be rucking his way through an English winter, not dawdling on a beach in Sydney.

More bafflingly however is that this is merely the “first stage of a campaign that will include a petition on the change.org website which, if it receives 100,000 signatures, will trigger the consideration of a debate by MPs on the issue.”  Yep, an e-petition.  Another robust strategy to influence change.

If a petition can’t ban Donald Trump from the UK, prevent Phil Collins releasing a new album or even prevent the use of pointless online petitions to force an MPs debate, then what chance has this got?

Topping it off is that the man spearheading the debate is “Professor” Eric Anderson, the “Professor” of SPORT, MASCULINITIES AND SEXUALITY at the University of Winchester.  Yep, you read that right: sport, masculinities and sexuality.  Why do we keep electing Prime Ministers that allow this garbage?  All government funding to any organisation that has a post with that title should be cut off immediately.

And here he is:

Professor Eric Anderson, Professor of SPORT, MASCULINITIES AND SEXUALITY

That’s a face you don’t want advising your children to do anything.  When he goes in for a haircut, he apparently asked for a Daffy Duck.

This is the same man that in 2014 claimed in a lecture that “damage caused by child molestation is socially constructed by the western world”. He did also allegedly call the Archbishop of Canterbury an asshole however, proving that even lunatics have the odd sensible point to make if you look hard enough.

But let’s consider, for a moment, what would happen if these pasty, tree-hugging, herbal tea drinkers got their way?

 

Now we don’t want to appear to be scaremongering here, but listening to Mike Catt try to explain his complete absence of testicular fortitude, you can only imagine what a disgrace that performance would have been without the 16 years of expert tutoring in tackle technique from the house master?

Enjoy again, Tuigamala pillaging Leicester in the glory days of 90s rugby league, when rugby union players were still pretending to have day jobs, thus preventing them from hitting tackle bags down at Old Riffraffians all day:

See, Eric – there’s plenty of room for not tackling in rugby.  It doesn’t mean we have to ban it altogether.  We’ve seen guys at the top level making CAREERS out of not tackling.  It was the great Puig Albert who said “Non mon travail fils – s’il obtient par la 12 de vous , comment suis-je censé l’arrêter” (“Not my job son – if he gets through the 12 of you, how am I supposed to stop him?” for those ignorant readers out there no offence).

We had Kevin Penny, Mark Calderwood, Martin Offiah, Andy Currier & Luke Dorn get through entire careers without being associated with a tackle.

Obviously, particularly now we’ve raised these important counterpoints, this e-petition will go nowhere.  But if it did, I think the real winner here would be the terrorists.

Author: Johnny Bolt

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