Emma Watson would like to tell you about Stockholm Syndrome

Serial pest, shell company owner and raiser of irrelevant issues but solver of none, Emma Watson, threw up two more items fit for ridicule this week.

In her publicity rounds for Beauty and the Beast, the movie she’d previously vetoed wearing a corset for because she wanted to be an “active” princess under house arrest to a guy in a bear suit, she decided to do some psychological diagnosis of her fictional character, lest her vapid, timid character be labelled a victim.

Stupid people who insisted on raising stupid issues asked Emma if she felt Belle was a victim of Stockholm Syndrome, since that would be the only logical reason for falling in love with a very ugly lion who was keeping you captive against your will.  Along with the lack of other options in the castle other than various species of rodent.

Watson claims that she “grappled” with Belle’s relationship with the Beast (along with the corset) when she signed on, but due her her learnings as an Art History major at Brown, doesn’t believe Stockholm Syndrome fits since Belle is continually resisting:

That’s where a prisoner will take on the characteristics of and fall in love with the captor. Belle actively argues and disagrees with [Beast] constantly. She has none of the characteristics of someone with Stockholm Syndrome because she keeps her independence, she keeps that freedom of thought.

Its a clear observation that can be made from a movie based on a cartoon when batting eyelids at a guy in a ram costume.

She went on to point out that, rather than take her fate sitting down, she take opportunities to fight back and attempt to escape.  For a little while anyway.

There’s this defiance that ‘You think I’m going to come and eat dinner with you and I’m your prisoner — absolutely not.’ I think that’s the other beautiful thing about the love story. They form a friendship first and that gap in the middle where there is this genuine sharing, the love builds out of that, which in many ways I actually think is more meaningful than a lot of love stories, where it was love at first sight.

So….. Stockholm Syndrome.

Nothing about Stockholm Syndrome suggests it occurs the instant the captors burst into the nightclub with machine guns.  Apparently its OK if your captor establishes a relationship over time, and/or is of a different species entirely.

The sit downs with HuffPo and vague and convoluted speeches to packed houses of werido Asian ministers at the UN have clearly emboldened Hermoine to continue to dispense uninformed batshittery.  She kicked that up into a new program where she gave life advice to commuters at Grand Central Terminal on Tuesday via an iPad for a the bargain price of $2.  Some hipster asshole had the fun job of carrying around the cheaply constructed placard.

Any balding weirdos stupid enough to approach the iPad Emma had Facetime’d to from her suite at the Plaza were no doubt greeted with stumps from her HeForShe campaign that teaches men that not only do you have to stop oppressing women, you have to make other men stop oppressing as well.  Hopefully they all went home and found a buddy, handed him a beer, and said “Hey, let’s talk out our feelings on beating and enslaving our women”.   Obviously, once the game is over or during a time out.

I sincerely hope the UN is not relying on Emma’s aptitude to further the cause of women.  We’re all doomed.


Author: Max Smith

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