Great Moments in Politics: these are the celebs who said they’re leaving America

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A host of whiny celebrities spent the election cycle pumping their own tyres by announcing that they’d leave the USA if Donald Trump became President.

Unlike previous celebrities who said unlike previous celebrities they are truly serious about leaving, these celebrities universally stated that they are truly serious about leaving, unlike previous celebrities.

At posting time, none of them have left the USA.  Let’s hope they follow through.  Wait – Samuel L Jackson can stay.

Jon Stewart, not amusing political satirist.

“I would consider getting in a rocket and going to another planet, because clearly this planet’s gone bonkers,” he told reporters

Chelsea Handler, “comedian”

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Handler spent the election cycle painting insults on her bare ass.  “I did buy a house in another country just in case, so all of these people that threaten to leave the country and then don’t, I will leave the country,” she said on Live with Kelly and Michael.

She’s insistent – let’s hold her accountable.

Neve Campbell, wooden actress

The Scream and House of Cards actress said she would move back to her Canada if Trump wins the election.

“His honesty is terrifying,” she told who else but Huffington Post.

Barry Diller, bald media executive

“If Donald Trump doesn’t fall, I’ll either move out of the country or join the resistance,” he told Bloomberg.

Lena Dunham, creator of the unwatchable “Girls”

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Dunham even picked out her spot with some specificity:  Vancouver.

I know a lot of people have been threatening to do this, but I really will,” she said at the Matrix Awards.

She’s insistent – let’s hold her accountable. 

Keegan-Michael Key, actor

Who? He’s in Key & Peele, and played a white guy in House of Lies.  He’s off to Canada.

“It’s easy. It’s like 10 minutes from Detroit and that’s where I’m from,” he told TMZ.

Chloë Sevigny, actress (always plays the strung out one)

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She answered , “Nova Scotia” to a question of where she would move if Trump were elected.  That complexion would go well up there.

Al Sharpton, activist 

Sharpton should really not be making judgments about other people with his track record.

“If Donald Trump is the nominee, I’m open to support anyone, while I’m also reserving my ticket out of here if he wins,” he said at a press conference. 

Natasha Lyonne, Orange Is the New Black.

“I’ll move to a mental hospital for a while because you’re like ‘why is this happening?'” she said.

Eddie Griffin, unfunny comedian.

Where would he move? Africa.  “He’s good at making money, but he’s ignorant…If Trump wins, I’m moving to Africa,” he told DJ Vlad.

Spike Lee

I included Spike, even though he didn’t quite grasp the concept.

If Trump wins, he’ll be “moving back to the republic of Brooklyn, New York,” he reported to Vanity Fair.

Amber Rose, Kanye’s former ass-fingerer

“I can’t even think about it! I’m moving, I’m out! I can’t. And I am taking my son with me!” she told US Weekly.

Samuel L. Jackson, actor in every movie ever

Where would he move? South Africa.  “He’s just running for popularity. C’mon, just let it go,” he said on The View.

Cher, married Sonny Bono, had a mountain of plastic surgery

“IF HE WERE TO BE ELECTED, IM MOVING TO JUPITER >:|” she tweeted.

Let’s fire her directly into the planet.

George Lopez, former Mexican

“If he wins, he won’t have to worry about immigration, we’ll all go back,” he told TMZ.

Barbra Streisand

“He has no facts. I don’t know, I can’t believe it. I’m either coming to your country [Australia], if you’ll let me in, or Canada,” she told Australian journalist Michael Usher.

Raven-Symoné, cackler on The View

“My confession for this election is if any Republican gets nominated, I’m going to move to Canada with my entire family. I already have my ticket,” she said on The View.

Her level of tolerance was that her leaving was contingent on any Republican winning the election – not just Trump.

Whoopi Goldberg, loud one on The View

“I don’t want to be in America. Maybe it’s time for me to move, you know, I can afford to go” she said.

Omari Hardwick, actor in the poor man’s Empire, “Power”

“I’ll move from Denver to Italy… If Donald Trump wins the presidency, I’m out,” he told The Wrap. 

Miley Cyrus, invites fans to grab her by the pussy

“My heart is broken into a 100000 pieces…I am moving if this is my president! I don’t say things I don’t mean!” she wrote in an Instagram post.

She’s insistent – let’s hold her accountable.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court Justice

“I can’t imagine what the country would be with Donald Trump as our president… Now it’s time for us to move to New Zealand,” she told The New York Times. “I can’t imagine what the country would be with Donald Trump as our president. For the country, it could be four years. For the court, it could be — I don’t even want to contemplate that.” 

Amy Schumer, comedian who talks about her vagina excessively

“I will need to learn to speak Spanish because I will move to Spain or somewhere… It’s beyond my comprehension if Trump won. It’s too crazy,” she  told BBC Newsnight.

Ne-Yo, R&B Singer

Yo said he’d be moving to Canada “straight away” if Trump wins.  “Me and Drake gonna be neighbors if Donald Trump becomes president,” the singer told TMZ in October.

Bryan Cranston, meth-cook actor

“Absolutely. I would definitely move. It’s not real to me that that would happen. I hope to God it won’t,” Cranston said. “It wouldn’t be a vacation. I’d be an expatriate.”

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