La. State Rep proposes capping age & weight of strippers at 28 years old, 160 lbs

Kenny Harvard Stripper Law

BATON ROUGE – A Louisiana Senate bill intended to restrict the age of employees at strip clubs included a proposed amendment to limit employed strippers’ weights.

The original text of Senate Bill 468 banned strip clubs that served alcohol from hiring dancers under the age of 21-years-old.  Rep. Kenneth E. Havard proposed an amendment that would also limit employees to be “between twenty-one and twenty-eight years of age and shall be no more than one hundred and sixty pounds in weight.”

The amendment was with withdrawn before the House voted on the bill.

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This is 2016, so Kenny’s proposed amendment set off the rent-a-whiners who didn’t seem remotely worried that it has taken until now for a law that requires strippers to be over 21 when nude in a bar. Why wasn’t Emma Watson on top of that? She could have clothed the underaged ones in recycled plastic to protect their modesty.

But all jokes aside about Kenny’s amendment, this type of measure shouldn’t be dismissed so quickly. Many’s the time I’ve strolled into a strip club for the first time, paid my cover charge and been HORRIFIED by the size and age of the strippers inside. Your problem is never that they’re 18-21. You roll in the wrong place on a Tuesday at 4pm, and you’re met by a bunch of C-sections, stretch marks, 2-inches of foundation and carrion behaviour. There’s no way you’re getting your cover back and you’re stuck drinking your two-drink minimum while scrolling through your phone and avoiding eye contact. It’s a horrible experience, and genuinely makes you wonder whether going to a strip club during the day on a weekday is the right way to be spending your life. At the very least, you end up catching a cab to two more strip clubs in the hope that one of them will employ strippers under 28 years of age and 160 pounds.

If strip clubs were forced to adhere to these parameters, you could at least enter these clubs with some degree of confidence. Sure, you’ll still run into the burnouts and the recovering meth heads, but you increase your chance of seeing some hot ones at any point of the day/week by a factor of 10.

Kenny knows what I’m talking about.

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Author: Max Smith

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