Pamela Anderson derides your love of porn

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Shmuley Boteach

Pamela Anderson teamed up with Shmuley Boteach, who was the spiritual advisor to Michael Jackson during his child molestation years, to write an op-ed for the Wall Street Journal (!) denigrating pornography and encouraging people to take the no-porn pledge.

“Simply put, we must educate ourselves and our children to understand that porn is for losers — a boring, wasteful and dead-end outlet for people too lazy to reap the ample rewards of healthy sexuality.” 

Their argument invoked the Anthony Weiner situation, despite there being no evidence that the penis-photographer ever watched porn, or certainly watched it any more or less than any of us other losers.

Boteach is the author of what sound like a couple of phenomenal tomes “Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy” and “Kosher Lust: Love Is Not the Answer”.  You can try to guess whether he’s after the same market of losers.  The Jackson thing haunted his reputation a little, but he’s adamant “I was friendly with Michael for a year before anyone knew about it. I did my own investigation. He never had sex with the child he made the settlement with, and there are no others.”  I bet your investigation was thorough.

Shmuley I can see calling for an end to porn, whilst tearing into it on a nightly basis.  But he’s got a brand to uphold behind the weird beard.

Pamela, though, has taken a baffling stance.  Her entire career was pornography.  Baywatch, Barb Wire, 20 Playboy covers, a thousand other magazines, and two “leaked” sex tapes.  She spanned eras from full bush to completely shaved, and was nude in 8 different cup sizes.   Even when she was off-duty, her nipples were falling out of her top as she stumbled from one nightclub to another.  She holds the Guinness Book of Records category for Subject of Most Masturbation in the 1990s.  The only reason her career was not entirely hard-core porn was that the soft-core and medium-core stuff was paying her so well.

I’m sure Anderson doesn’t believe she ever did porn.  When you’re a hypocrite, you can draw your own lines: Fashion models aren’t as bad as thong bikini models, who aren’t as bad as topless models, who aren’t as bad as nude models, who aren’t as bad as beaver-shot models, who aren’t as bad as soft-core porn actresses, who aren’t as bad as hard-core porn actresses, who aren’t as bad as the ones who do double-anal.  Guess what?  They’re all the same boring, wasteful and dead-end outlets for us losers.   What did you think we were buying all of those Playboys for?

Here’s the thing.  No man is too lazy to reap the ‘ample rewards of healthy sexuality’.  In fact, from the time we are teenagers, our every objective is to attain the rewards of healthy sexuality.  Sometimes we fall short, not for lack of trying.  When we did in the 90s, we pulled a Playboy off the shelf.  In the 2010s, it’s Pornhub on a phablet.

You can jam your religious zealotry and burn-out hypocrisy up your ass.

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Author: Max Smith

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