Salford Lad Acts Like Someone From Salford

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The Mirror: A drug-dealing rugby player tried to EAT a bag containing £850 worth of crack cocaine and heroin when he was caught by police.

Former Salford City Reds Academy signing Max Capps, 21, was stopped by police because he fitted the description of a man wanted over an unconnected robbery.

But during a search, he tried to eat a cloth bag containing 12 packages of crack cocaine, worth £170, and five packages of heroin valued at £677 because of its high purity.

An officer managed to prevent him swallowing the evidence by fishing it out of his mouth, the Manchester Evening News reports.

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Firstly, Max is one of those known drug dealers that drinks out of a margarita glass rather than a 3 liter bottle of Frosty Jack. The poor kid. He only got caught because he looked like some other Salford-based miscreant. What a bumbler, though. Everyone knows narcotics of that amount are far safer up the jacksey.

We all know that there is only one person to blame for his misdemeanor; Marwan Koukash. Now, I’m not saying that Koukash would better serve the players if he spent money on player welfare instead of swindling the salary cap (allegedly), but he totally would better serve the players if he did. There is only one bloke that could’ve kept Max on the straight and narrow and that is one BOBBIE GOULDING. Get Max in the dungeon for a touch-up from Bob and those crack pebbles don’t need to go anywhere near his gullet. Of course, Bobbie was offered a job which was then rescinded by a combination of the harebrained Dr. and Aussie pretender, Tim Sheens. Absolute madness.

Author: Johnny Bolt

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