Trump spoke for us all when he ejected that baby

Trump Eject Baby

I guarantee that literally everyone who mentions this to you tomorrow will not have watched the footage, and will not concede that he was remotely kidding. They’ll have read headlines – and just the headlines – that said “Trump launches assault on Americas infants” and “Does Trump hate your baby?”.   Two thirds of my Twitter and Apple News feeds are headlines embellishing and taking out of context anything that No Naps Trump might have said or might have done.  Idiots like to say “Just listen to him for 10 minutes – he’s an imbecile!”, and have never listened to him for close to 10 minutes.

I have no idea why they need to embellish it – just let the dude speak, its much more entertaining.

We’ve even got that self-serving dodderer Warren Buffett grandstanding saying he’ll produce his tax returns if Trump does. Buffett would like you to believe that he hasn’t minimised his taxes for 65 years by housing his capital gains inside a company. Like we all would/do if we can. But if you can explain me why the guy working at Dunkin’ Donuts has the right to read the tax returns of a guy who is audited annually by the IRS, go for it.

Having said that, let me say this. There has never, ever been a situation that has not been improved by the ejection of a screaming baby: aeroplanes, coffee shops, restaurants, visiting friends. The relief that washes over your body when the screaming baby is removed from any situation is up there with a good shit. Everyone in that auditorium was better off when that baby left. Sure, I feel for the Mom or Dad who’s day was ruined by their screaming kid, but that’s parenting, which is the worst occupation on the planet.

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Author: Max Smith

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