What’s brown and goes red at the flick of a switch?

A bull in a food processor.  (Admitedly doesn’t really work as well as Kermit) 

Yes, it’s the shock news that after descending into administration for the 3rd time in 5 years, someone’s flicked the switch and the Bulls are liquidated.

The only shock is the outpouring of grief and outrage from the #rugbyleaguefamily. “How has this been allowed to happen? *Angry Facebook Emoticon”

Personally, we much prefer Curt Woollin’s refreshing take (apologies for the fruity language):

Anyone who is shocked and appalled either stopped watching rugby league when Bradford were last good (2005) or stopped watching rugby league when Super League was last good (2008). Any bystanding witness of the dumpster fire that is the Magic 8ball  Super League, is surely only surprised by how long it’s taken.

To be fair, the writing had been on the wall at Odsal for some time: 

“If anyone is interested in buying the Bulls we need to hear from them, this club is on the brink of extinction.” said admistrator Brendan Guilfoyle in June 2012, in seemingly the worst sales pitch in history. This, shortly after the club had gobbled up the entire disposable income of Bradford for the year and a selection of artifacts from the career of Leon Pryce, and then found another million pounds worth of invoices down the back of the filing cabinet.

An array of magnificently unqualified candidates stepped forward, including MP Gerry Sutcliffe and a Bradford restauranteur, who successfully negotiated the purchase of the club for the bargain price of £150,000, before being forfeited £600,000 by the RFL (roughly the annual disposable income of Bradford). Great bit of business, chaps.

The other Super League clubs showed immense character by immediately sharing out the spoils, and the majority of the Bulls 2012 squad. #rugbyleaguefamily

Any niggling doubts of the fans who’d chipped in their hard earned cash were immediately laid to rest by Big Nige who vowed a typically bullish period of inaction: “A probationary licence allows us to closely monitor the performance of Bradford next season”.  A good close watching is universally accepted as the most ineffective way of enforcing change, second only to petitions for a parliamentary debate. 

Sure enough, and to the astonishment of way too many, being placed under the watchful eye of the man that allegedly sank Halifax a decade earlier didn’t do the trick.

Only 18 months later, after a remarkable show of “integrity” when the RFL refused to let Khan sell the club back to himself minus debt, another fight to take control of a massive loss making enterprise broke out. Marwan Koukash announced the certain and impending victory for his wife, Mandy, whereupon Marc Green was promptly sold OK Bulls 2014 Steampigs Ltd or whatever it was called this time.

Relegation, a failed promotion bid and a Jimmy Lowes meltdown later, and we’re here again. Tragically, there are still some fans hanging on, burning candlelight vigils under the image of a slightly podgy 2011 Marcus St Hilaire. 

This is all just for the time being of course. The RFL has revised its 2014 self imposed integrity ruling on ditching debt and decided Bradford “deserves” a professional rugby league club. 

You when youre wondering if life in Bradford could get any shittier, the RFL insist on giving you another failing version of the Bulls. Cheers, Nige.

Hey, it’s not all doom and gloom. Here are a few things to brighten up the life of the average Bulls fan:

1. Hilarious failed NY resolutions:

2. The 2018 Bulls squad sounds like it’s in decent shape:

3. Confirmation that Liam Farrell is a massive douchebag:

4. Carrie Fisher’s Prozac urn:

5. And finally, the news all 15 year old boys have been waiting for:

Author: Rascal Diver

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